Happy Love Day! Let me just start by saying that finding the time to prioritize this blog and actually share my real and honest self is like trying to hit the lottery.
I should really start counting how many interruptions I get from my loving girls as they’ve discovered my bin of decorations for Valentine’s Day…and they HAVE to decorate NOW. I am intermittently cutting hearts, making sure they aren’t eating the candy for their peers and trying to remind my husband that even though golf is on, I AM ACTUALLY WORKING and he needs to referee the tiny animals determined to create a love nest with all of the hearts and red and pink and yeah…welcome to my casa right now 🙂
So, I don’t know about you, but I need my village. Like right now, even in this very moment, as my 5-year-old is trying to force-feed me an orange “sweet stuff” valentine’s candy heart.
Being a mom to three angels (“animals”), while in the midst of trying to be an entrepreneur and business owner is quite hilarious. I never knew how hard this would actually be.
But I guess we never know what we are tasking ourselves with till we are in the thick of it, hands on our heads, asking for just a second to get our next thought down on paper or simply send an email. Am I right??
I guess this would be a good time to differentiate between things we take on willingly and things that we are forced to do. I hesitate using the word forced, because well, nobody wants to feel forced, but some situations actually feel that way. I have always been the type of woman that tends to take on a bit more than I should, but I am choosing to take these things on. And I get them done, no matter what. Problem is, knowing that when we are willingly taking on list after list, life has a way of shifting everything to where the lists will fall, life will change and all those supposed priorities will be suddenly appear meaningless.
A little over two years ago, my life, my mom life and my business life were totally different. When Frankie got sick, I had to make some serious decisions just to get up the next day and take care of my own mini village: my partner, my children and myself. I still get this empty feeling inside my chest remembering how it all came crashing down. I felt scared, alone. Actually I was fucking terrified.
Suddenly, I was out of a job, pregnant with our third, in and out of the hospital with Frankie, guilt-ridden for missing time with Emmie, and it seemed like most of my friends had hopped on the first boat out of Giselleville. Scary situations can scare people away and I understand that, but now was the time for ME to find a village. And you know what, the village found me. Totally choking up!!!! Uggh, it was so hard to ask for help and even harder to realize that all of my lists meant nothing now. I was at a shift, a complete beginning of a new life, and I wasn’t sure who would actually be there at the end of this grueling 3-year roadmap of Frankie’s’ treatment.
But here we are, 2.5 years in, and I am amazed at my village. It might be a small village, but people (and I’m talking strangers & friends I hadn’t seen for 5+ years) came out of the woodworks. I had a small group of friends locally that reached out and did what they could, but nothing changed till I was open to receiving it.
Moms. If you take one thing away from this post, let it be this…If you want to survive, you’ll have to ask for help.
It isn’t easy showing our vulnerability and displaying all of our shit, but guess what…people relate. When I opened up, people connected with me. They felt moved and gravitated toward me…the real, raw, genuine me. And there is absolutely nothing more beautiful than feeling loved for exactly who you are & where you are in any given moment of your life.
I found a village. I am a part of it and it is a part of me. By taking a terrifying moment in my life and allowing myself to open my heart and my calling to connect with fellow moms, I feel embraced.
I believe everyone should find a village. It just might save you. It saved me.
P.S. Please JOIN US this Thursday, February 16th for a discussion on navigating being a new parent and finding YOUR village! And don’t forget to check out our Featured “Where’s Our Village” Card for February.